snynadziei (snynadziei) wrote,

So I was just looking at really old entries from 2005. Brings me back to some good times and to some different and somewhat hard times for me. A lot has changed for me this year and I'm still adjusting to it. I have problems with changes. especially with things that I never really wanted to get into. Right now I know I need a good job but it's hard for me to look for one even though I need more money. School was nerve recking for me because I was never one to enjoy school after 8th grade. You'd think people would change from high school, but it's a rarity to see. Back to the old entries thought...

I really see a big change in myself from then. In most..if not all of my high school career I was always in trouble. Rebelling against my mom mainly. People treated me like dirt..mainly in relationships and then later friends became enemies..and the thing I noticed was I always forgave them and tried to be nice about it. I can say that much has changed now. I've become more bitter and vindictive then ever. My mom even asked me before..what happened to me..that I used to smile all the time and be happy. The thing is I am happy..but I'm not going to pretend that something is okay anymore. I'm lucky to have all the people in my life, including those who have hurt me in some way. I'm not going to say it made me stronger..because that is way to stupid to say. All I'm going to say is.. It made me wiser to the fake and really see a genuine person. So this is to all of you who have helped me in some way or have been in my life and are still in it. Thank you and good night.
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